Category Archives: mothers and daughters

It never rains but it pours

In December, I applied to the Carers Well-Being Fund for a grant to help to buy a new laptop. The one I’m using has given me sterling service but it’s getting very old. At New Year I learned they’ve granted me this money and only ask for me to get back to them as soon as possible with proof I’ve made the purchase. But the crazy thing is – I haven’t had a chance! It’s mad I know but it’s going to end up being at least a fortnight before I can apply myself properly to what will be a really important purchase which I can’t just rush into. As they say, it never rains but it pours….. and it’s literally been pouring without cease for days.

Normally we lead a very quiet life, the calendar more or less blank. But since New Year it’s been a different matter. We’ve been spared the dreadful flooding that some people have suffered but with the torrential rain, hail and gale force winds, the back fence has practically collapsed. The one we have is old, but I was hoping we wouldn’t need to replace it just yet. To my horror, I discovered it keeling over, large chunks out of it. I found every piece of wood I could to prop it up, hammering them in to the ground with a mallet. It felt quite good actually: action woman!

The house backs onto a road, so we need a proper, strong fence without delay. But I had no idea where to start. I began to research the merits of ‘waney’ vs. ‘feather edge’ panels; cement posts vs. wooden posts. Neighbours recommended fencing firms; so did the hairdresser. I set up appointments so they could quote. Then I had to decide who to choose. Now I’m hoping I made the right choice!!

In the middle of all this, the Falls Prevention Team came to see mum. They came back and put up several new grab rails to help stop mum losing her balance and falling over. The week after they’ll return to check on how it’s going. That’s three days of appointments.

On Monday, I took mum to the doctor and today we went to the hospital because we’ve finally got the pre-op appointment for the minor surgery they’ve suggested for her. I have a whole list of necessary errands to run and I arranged weeks ago to go to London overnight next week, which will take up two days there and back. This is not to mention arranging a time for the fence to be fixed.

Fingers crossed, I’ll have time to buy my new laptop in another week or so!!

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I get into the Xmas spirit.

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I’m getting on well with Father Christmas!

The 12 days of Christmas are upon us. This time of year can get pretty claustrophobic. The days are short. It doesn’t really get light until nearly 8 am and its dark soon after 4 pm. It isn’t as cold as it should be – which is worrying in global terms but does make going outside a bit easier. The shops opened again on Boxing Day but without public transport (there are some buses between Xmas and New Year, but on a limited service) that won’t make much difference to me.

There isn’t much to do except batten down the hatches and embrace the traditional way of dealing with this time after the winter solstice: stay at home and eat! Or, in a more modern tradition: watch TV. Living in the same house as mum, who’s a TV addict and hard of hearing to boot, it’s impossible for me to beat it. So, even I, who has only owned one TV in my whole life, am studying the Radio Times to check the schedules. If I can’t beat them, I might as well join’em.

And actually I always do try to make this time as nice as possible. For several years now I’ve thought ‘this might be mum’s last Xmas’. This year, for the first time, she wondered that herself.

Anyway, I knew I’d never get through the exhausting run up to Xmas and survive the holidays and the period of hibernation that follows, without first having a respite break to recharge my batteries. At the beginning of December, I got the train to Paris and stayed with some friends who live there. I saw exhibitions, went to the movies (for the first time in over a year!) and had interesting conversations, which I didn’t have to repeat ad nauseum! On my way back through London I managed a couple of get-togethers with old friends and by the time I returned here I felt quite like my old self. Mum also returned from her stay in the care home in very good spirits.

So, the Xmas tree is up, the candles are lit, the TV is on. And I have a novel and a bottle of scotch tucked away. Hopefully, mum and I will manage to survive this Huis-Clos type holiday period without any major flare ups!

And I wish all of you who read this, a happy and peaceful 2016!